Goodbyes and Hellos my last blog

I have been back in the states for about 2 weeks now and I think I need to do one last blog to tell how the end of my trip went and how re-entry to the states is. My last blog was quite a long time ago…so I will catch up as much as I think is interesting. The last few weeks of my program were consumed with my research project, which turned out to be really fun and interesting to do once I actually set up interviews and dug into the project. My project was on sub-saharan refugees in Morocco. I wrote a 20 page paper on it so if you are sincerely interested in my project you can read that so I don’t have to go into it here. I was able to interview refugees and United Nations High Commissioner of Refugees workers so I had the entire spectrum. I was so happy to finish my paper and I was the second person to present my project so I was able to get it out of the way thankfully! The last few days of the program were great for some closure. We had some goodbye dinners and debriefing meetings which I assumed would be terribly boring but in the end I’m glad we did it. They helped me find some closure on the incredible experiences I had. I went to Turkey for 10 days immediately after my program ended and met up with my siblings and two friends from college. The trip was amazing and as one of my friend’s mom said “How do you ever top a trip like that?”. Turkey was a fascinating place and quite a change from Morocco. I was assuming they would be similar since Turkey is for the majority a muslim country, but Turkey was much more liberal. By liberal I mean people dressed a lot more European and immodest than they would in Morocco and it was a lot more European then I thought it would be. It is one of the most complex places I think I have ever been to. Let me explain that a little. There is such a diverse mix of people there like I have never experienced. The country itself is on the European continent and the continent of Asia (so I could say that in the course of 10 days I was on the continents of Europe, Asia, Africa and America…not to brag :op but that is kind of crazy!). So this country spans two continents, is Muslim and Christian, modern yet very traditional… it is just a crazy place. I think I would need to spend a lot more time there to begin to wrap my head around the culture. My favorite part of the trip (other than seeing my family and friends) was going to the Hagia Sophia. I remember learning about it in my Art History class in high school and I have been fascinated by it ever since. I told myself I would go there one day but had no idea it would be so soon. It was truly an incredible place. It was originally a cathedral and then when the muslims came into Turkey they converted it into a mosque. Today it is strictly for tourists and not a place of worship, but the mosaics of Jesus have been uncovered and the art of the mosque were left in place. It is beyond description because you are standing in this giant, old place of worship and you are looking at a mosaic of Jesus with his disciple next to large painted calligraphy of the Q’ran… I think I found it so bizar after living in a Muslim country and a Christian country then seeing the two living side by side in one place. Turkey certainly has it’s religious and political tensions so they are not exactly coexisting in harmony but in my opion it might be the closest the two can come to living in peace with each other. I think with all the tension that is going on between Muslims and Christianity a lot can be learned from Turkey and maybe the Middle East and the West need to take a closer look at the intricate nature of Turkey and learn a few things about living in peace with one another. Turkey is a paradox… I would recommend it as a must see country and besides it is beautiful and the people are so fun.
After Turkey I returned to Morocco for a week. I am so glad I was able to go back after my program and spend a week hanging out with friends and enjoying the country without worrying about school. It was a bitter sweet week full of goodbyes and trying to soak in as much of Morocco as I could. I stayed with my friend Samantha and her host family (which was basically like my family). My last day in Morocco was absolutely perfect because the whole day was spent with friends. I went to the beach in the morning and afternoon then spend the evening in the medina with friends. It is the hardest thing to say goodbye to people you love when you don’t know when you will see them again and yes I definitely cried. Even on the airplane home I would start tearing up then make myself pull it together haha.
Re-entry to the United States… I didn’t really know what to expect and it has been very strange. First of all everything is just way too easy to do! Everyone speaks English, I can read all the signs, women are allowed anywhere and everywhere, I can wear what I want… it is just too easy haha there is no challenge in getting around and doing everyday living. I have fully embraced American luxuries since being home. Shopping, showering, clean clothes, clean food and water… there is so much we take for granted that the rest of the world does not have. My first few days back were spent in New York City where I stayed with some friends from Gordon. My second day back we went to a show on broadway, “Guys and Dolls” a fantastic play but wow talk about culture shock. As I sat there in the theatre I thought about how much my Moroccan friends would love it. Re-entry has been kind of fun because in a way I feel like I am experiencing America for the first time… although I know I am just seeing it through different eyes now. It is fun to be away for so long and then come back to the place you know as home and to see and experience everything differently. It has even been an adjustment to walk down the street and not be constantly harassed by men and shopkeepers. I kind of laughed at myself the other day because I was going with my dad to a workout class at the gym and in my mind I was kind of nervous because I was thinking “oh great its going to be all men and I’m going to be the only woman there and they are going to stare at me and it will just be awkward, at least my dad is with me so it will be ok…” Seriously these are the thoughts that were going through my head. Then I got there and it turned out to be all women and I just had to laugh at myself because I was still in such a Moroccan kind of thought process. The outside world is not only men like it would be in Morocco… I had to adjust to that haha. It has been fun getting together with friends and talking about Morocco because people ask me questions and I forget how strange some of my experiences were because to me it was just my life for 4 months. Other people’s reactions to some of the things I say surprise me because I forget how different life there is to here and how strange people here find it. It is also kind of sad to me when I try to explain stories and experiences because I know I can only convey so much but unless you were there with me you will never really understand what I lived through. It is frustrating to know people won’t understand but I still love that people are interested. People have asked me how Morocco has changed me or if it has changed me. I don’t really know how to answer this question but I will do the best I can. I haven’t really changed… I’m still me but with a few more and better educated opinions. The whole Arab/Muslim world has a new face for me because the faces are more familiar now. I miss hearing Arabic all around me. I read al jazeera a little more regularly now haha. I have never had such a strong desire to go to the Middle East. I would hop on a plan tomorrow and head over there if I could. I absolutely love Arab culture ( I understand that might be a bit of a broad statement seeing as every Arab country has a different culture… but one that is more familiar to me now). I am still trying to find my footing with all of this. It is going to take some time to see how my experiences will shape my life back in America. I love to talk about my time in Morocco but there is just so much to talk about sometime I have a hard time articulating it. It has been fun being back but I also miss Morocco so so so much. I miss the people the most. I am trying to not be all whiny and depressed about missing Morocco and instead just look back at it with extreme joy at the incredible time I had. I love talking about it though so over the phone, facebook, email, face to face, it all works for me. Also don’t be afraid to ask “stupid” questions. A lot of the people I’ve talked to preface their questions with “this may be a dumb question but…” trust me I probably had the same questions and had to figure things out just as much when I was there so go ahead and ask me “dumb” questions. I came back knowing a lot more Arabic then I thought I did  although my French did not improve like I was hoping it would….oh well guess I’ll just have to go live in France for a while. I am dying to go back but honestly I have no idea when that opportunity will present itself again. For now I just keep in touch with my friends over there through facebook and msn (they all have msn and love it!). One of my friend’s over there who is a pro surfer might be coming out to Hawaii this fall for a competition so incha’allah (God willing) I will be able to see him this fall in Hawaii! So now that I’m back in the states please give me a call if I don’t give you one first! It is great to be back and I have a new love and appreciation for America! Thanks for keeping up with my blog all of you who are reading it but this will be the last one. I’m not an everyday blogger it was only for my time in Morocco that I started one. I hope you have enjoyed reading as much as I’ve enjoyed writing. Come see me in Hawaii! Much love and aloha!